


What I've Done

by csgt



Category: Marvel, The Gifted (TV 2017), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Brother-Sister Relationships, Canon Compliant, F/M, Implied/Referenced Incest, Open to Interpretation, Platonic Soulmates, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24673687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/csgt/pseuds/csgt
Summary: Lauren and Andy discuss everything that happened between them, and Andy tells her how sorry he is. Set between 2x15 and 2x16. Laurandy (Platonic or romantic, open to interpretation)
Relationships: Andy Strucker & Lauren Strucker, Andy Strucker/Lauren Strucker
Comments: 17
Kudos: 25





	What I've Done

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by Linkin Park's "What I've Done"

* * *

They all knew that they’d have to begin the preparations for the fight of their lives against the Inner Circle. But Lorna had something else to discuss with two people first.

“Andy, Lauren, can we talk for a minute, please?” Lorna asked.

The siblings nodded, and everybody else exited the rooftop, leaving the three of them alone.

“What is it?” Lauren folded her arms. She was… neutral. There was no hostility in her voice, but there wasn’t any warmth either. Andy was relaxed, much more friendly, as Lorna expected, since they had been good friends for a while.

Lorna took a deep breath, “Andy, I want to apologize for recruiting you to the Inner Circle. I convinced you to work for Reeva, when I should have known better. I should have known what kind of person she was.”

“You didn’t know, and I decided to go, ok? I make my own decisions. There’s nothing for you to apologize for,” Andy said firmly.

“No. I influenced you,” Lorna said, “Remember when you came to talk to me because you were having second thoughts… You said that you felt like you should be with Lauren. It was clear that you wanted to leave, not because you didn’t believe in what the Inner Circle was doing anymore, nor because you were missing your father or your mother, but because you were missing Lauren.”

Lauren was taken aback by the revelation, and Andy blushed redder than a tomato.

“L-Lorna, I t-think o-our private conversations should stay b-between us… I know you’re not my t-therapist, but maybe w-we s-should agree on some c-confidentiality deal thing?” Andy asked.

“Exactly the opposite. That’s why I want Lauren here, Andy. I want her to understand how much you care for her, and if there is one person that she should blame for everything that happened between you two, it’s me and not you.”

“That’s not true, as I said, I make my own-” Andy began to say but was interrupted.

“I’m just going to state facts, ok?” Lorna asked.

“If you wanted to stay with me, why didn’t you leave back then?” Lauren asked her brother in a tone that was barely above a whisper.

Lorna answered that question before Andy could say anything, “Because I told him he was being trusted and that he needed to commit. I feared for his safety too, because I knew that Reeva could try to track him down and kill him because he knew too much about the Inner Circle’s plans. But if I had told him to follow his gut, I’m pretty sure he would have left at that point. And there’s more, after that… You two surely remember when Marcos and Lauren stopped us from getting away at that mental clinic. You two fought and Andy pushed you and Marcos out of our way with his powers. Andy felt completely devastated about having to push you.”

“You didn’t look devastated about it the next time we met… In our dreams, I mean,” Lauren said to Andy in a slightly bitter tone as the boy lowered his head in shame, “It was almost like you didn’t care at all.”

“Just because I told him that he had done everything right, and he should be proud,” Lorna said.

Lauren blinked a few times trying to process the information, and Andy spoke, “Lorna, I get what you’re trying to do, and it’s pretty noble of you, but-”

“Listen,” Lorna spoke in a firm voice, “I crippled the Mutant Underground. I got my friend Sage killed. I made a lot of mistakes that I can’t fix. But the friendship that you two had and was ruined; that is one thing that I might be able to fix. Lauren can hate me all she wants. I really don’t care, as long as I can make her see that you’re still the little brother that always loved her. I just want you two to go back to the way you were before.”

“I won’t treat Andy the same way I did before,” Lauren said, and Lorna looked down overwhelmed with guilt as Andy looked hurt and disappointed, “I’ll treat him better than I used to.”

Both Lorna and Andy were taken aback by the answer, “What?”

Then Andy said, his voice cracking, “I left, and I did so many horrible things. I don’t deserve to be treated better.”

“You are right! You don’t. You left us and went looking for a new family with the Inner Circle. You were a stupid ungrateful piece of garbage and I hated you for it… I should have just let you go,” she said filled with anger. But then her eyes teared up, “But I couldn’t. I wanted to force you to come back because… because... I didn’t want to miss you anymore. Heck, at my lowest point, I went a bit crazy and almost joined you there. And that’s on me. I’m definitely not ready to accept the fact that you might want to live your life without me being a part of it. So, I need to make sure that you will never want that.”

Andy was speechless, deeply touched by his sister’s words. As he didn’t know what to say, he pulled her into a hug instead.

Lorna sighed as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders, “You two have a lot to talk about. I should probably leave you guys alone,” she said as she exited the rooftop.

“Andy, wait for me here. I’ll be right back.” Lauren pulled away from the hug and ran after Lorna. She reached her as she was going down the stairs, “Lorna, there’s something else I need to talk to you. Just for the record, I’m not mad at you. If anything, I’m upset at myself. I really wish I could have the same effect on Andy that you do. He clearly listens to you; he looks up to you. Honestly, it looks like you’re more his big sister than I am," she spoke in a slightly hurt tone, “How did you earn his trust? How can I do the same?”

"Hear me out… Marcos is the person who loves me the most and he didn’t follow me to the Inner Circle, because he sees me as an equal, as a partner, not as a mentor or someone who is above him. The reason why Andy seems to listen to me more is not about trust, and it’s definitely not because he sees me as more of a sister than you. It’s just that he sees you as his equal, and me as a mentor,” Lorna said, “It’s true Andy and I got really close, but he mostly just talked about you. I almost feel sorry for his next girlfriend... Wait that came out wrong. I obviously wasn't dating Andy."

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure Andy wouldn’t want to risk getting a third degree burn from Marcos,” Lauren chuckled. Then the implication of Lorna’s words finally hit her, and she frowned, “Who was his girlfriend?”

Lorna froze, a bit uncomfortable as she didn’t want to expose more of Andy than she already had, “What makes you think he was dating anyone?”

“You said _next_ girlfriend, which implies the existence of a _previous_ girlfriend.” Lauren went over the possible suspects in her head. The thought of Andy with Reeva or one of the Frost sisters somehow pulled up bile in the back of Lauren’s throat, but thankfully she found that very unlikely that any of them would ever be interested in him. Who was left besides Lorna? Oh, no… “Don’t tell me it was that girl who killed her own parents and then slaughtered 37 people at that bank. Don’t tell me my little brother was dumb enough to fall for a psychopath.”

Lorna bit her lip, “It’s a delicate subject… Please, don’t bring it up when you’re talking to him, ok?”

“I’ll smack him one over that,” Lauren said as she turned around to go back to the rooftop, ignoring Lorna’s plead.

“Andy killed her!” Lorna said, and Lauren turned around in shock, “Rebecca was going to murder everybody - Reeva, the Frosts, Sage, me - and Andy tried to stop her… It was an accident. He still blames himself though. It would bring up painful memories for him to talk about it.”

“... I understand. Thanks for telling me,” Lauren said before heading back to the rooftop.

When she opened the door, she didn’t see Andy and almost had a mini panic attack, but then she heard his voice, “Hey.”

He was sitting on the floor, with his back against the wall, right next to the door. She sighed in relief and sat next to him. Her hand reached for his, but she stopped herself at the last second. The memory of their dreams - both of them on the top of a rooftop, holding hands and Andy forcing her to trigger the Fenris effect - was still in her mind.

Her change of heart wasn’t unnoticed by Andy, “I-I t-think you m-might p-prefer not being alone with me. And a-after e-everything I did, I t-totally get it. We can continue this conversation back in the apartment near our parents,” he began to stand up.

“Wait, no,” Lauren pulled his arm, “Stay here with me a little longer, please.”

She let go of her worries and took his hand in hers. If she wanted him to trust her, she had to trust him, “I just remembered our first dreams… But they were just dreams and you were in a dark place. I know you’re not going to force me to go Fenris for real,” she said as she squeezed his hand.

Andy took a deep breath, “My dreams with you started the first week after I left. We'd meet, hold hands and go Fenris. You never resisted it; you never said no. It was basically the same dream almost every night for six months. But one day all of a sudden, you freaked out when I grabbed your hand and I was so confused. I guess that was the point when the dreams stopped being just _my_ dreams and became _our_ dreams. But, please, believe me, back then I had no idea it was actually you there or I would have never tried to force you to use our power...” Andy explained as he gently caressed Lauren’s hand. She could see that his eyes were filled with regret.

“That makes so much sense… My dreams with you only started six months after you left,” Lauren whispered, “The first few times, I was so scared because I could barely register that they were dreams. I thought it was all real… That you really wanted us to go full murder-mode at random.”

Andy let out a small chuckle, “I turned evil, but not suicidal. If we actually used our power on top of a building, we’d probably fall to our deaths after vaporizing the surroundings. I knew very well that it was a dream and going Fenris there would just give us the euphoria without the massive destruction. The only thing I didn’t know was that you were really you.”

“And after we found out that our dreams were shared, you stopped being a creep and never again tried to force me to go Fenris,” Lauren said as realization dawned upon her, “The only other time we went Fenris in our dreams after that, you offered your hand to me and actually asked if I wanted to do it…”

“That reminds me, there’s something else I need to apologize for,” Andy spoke with shame, “I gave the Frost sisters permission to work your mind... I _felt_ when you had that confrontation with Sentinel Services. The Frosts told me that you and mom barely escaped… So, I made the decision that I wanted you to be safe, first and foremost, even if that meant allowing them to get inside your head. And they almost did, you just didn’t give them the chance.”

“Can’t hold that one against you. I would have done the exact same thing to you if I had the chance too,” Lauren just chuckled.

“What?” Andy stared at her in disbelief.

“If we had telepaths and I had a chance, I wouldn’t hesitate to ask them to get inside your head and remove all the Inner Circle crap. I’ve thought about it before many times,” Lauren shrugged.

“You really would do that to me?” Andy asked. He wasn’t upset of course. It would be hypocritical if he were, but he was shocked that his sister would be willing to get her hands dirty like that.

“Of course. I would do anything to get you out of the Inner Circle. Destroying the Inner Circle, beating you up, getting inside your head, I was willing to do whatever it takes… It is as people say, ‘All is fair in love and war’,” Lauren said.

“Which case was ours? Love or war?” Andy arched an eyebrow.

“Both, obviously,” Lauren replied as she tightened her grip on his hand, “Is the apology tour over or is there something else you want to say?”

“There’s a very big list. I’m so sorry that I hurt you when we fought at that mental clinic.”

“We’re even now. The last time we fought, you got your ass handed to you in a royal beatdown,” Lauren scoffed, remembering the fight that happened between them in their dreams, “Besides, someone told us that the only reason our group was still breathing was because Reeva thought you and Lorna were loyal to her and wanted to keep it that way. Reeva killed the entire Mutant Underground leadership. She wouldn’t have a problem going after us… or you, if you had betrayed her. I get why you fought me and Marcos when we were in your way. Of course, I hated it, but now I get why you thought you had to do it.”

“It’s not that,” his voice lowered to a barely audible whisper, “I actually killed someone with my powers when I didn’t mean to… Now a part of me c-can’t s-stop t-thinking w-what if I h-had d-done the same to y-you and I-I… I think I’d kill m-myself if it that had h-happened...”

Lauren once again squeezed his hand, “I’m here. I’m ok.” she smiled softly at him.

“I hurt everyone I care about.” a tear fell from Andy’s eye, “You should stay away from me.”

“When you were away, Dad’s powers went haywire,” Lauren began to say, “We found Grandpa Otto’s old partner, Dr. Madeline Garber. She gave him the medication that he started using to suppress his powers again. She wanted to create a permanent cure for him, but… I found out that she wanted more than that. She wanted to cure all mutants. So, I convinced Dad and Mom that we had to destroy her research.”

“You did the right thing. It could be-” Andy began to say.

“There was a boy. His name was Noah,” Lauren sighed, “He was Dr. Garber’s assistant, a mutant whose powers were too unstable, and he wanted the cure as well. He had feelings for me... and I just used him. I tricked him into taking me where the storage was - so I could come back and destroy everything later, but of course I didn’t tell him that - in exchange for a date.”

“Maybe you hurt his feelings a little bit, but it’s nothing that he won’t recover from,” Andy shrugged.

“Noah will never recover. He died. When we were about to destroy the research, Dr. Garber showed her true colors. She said people like me, you and Noah were a curse. Noah was so mad that he used his powers and brought the whole place down. I used him, dragged him into my mess, and I got him killed.” A tear fell from Lauren’s eye. “Do you want to tell me about what happened to your girlfriend Rebecca now?”

Andy was surprised, “How do you- Lorna told you, didn’t she?” he sighed.

“More like she accidentally let it slip and I made my own deductions,” Lauren smirked.

“After what Rebecca did at the bank, Reeva locked her up. I freed her, and we were going to run, but-”

“Wait!” Lauren hated Rebecca and was trying to be sympathetic for Andy’s sake, but she couldn’t do it anymore. She was boiling in anger now. Lauren untangled her hand from her brother’s, clenched her fists and yelled, “I asked you to come home countless times, and you refused because you believed in what the Inner Circle was doing, but you were willing to throw all your new ideals away to elope with a complete psychopath?? I want to punch you in the face so badly right now...”

“It wasn’t like that,” Andy said defensively, “After what happened at the bank, Rebecca ran away. Reeva could have left her alone, but she had her captured and put in a dark cage, spinning non-stop… It was a torture chamber. I couldn’t let them keep her there. If it were you, I wouldn’t even have let them put you in there in the first place.”

Lauren calmed down a little after that, but she was still a bit salty, “I still can’t believe the girl of your dreams was a murderous psychopath…”

“Rebecca wasn’t a murderous psychopath, ok? She was just… broken,” Andy sighed, “And she wasn’t the _girl of my dreams_. You know that.”

Lauren froze for a few seconds, speechless. The girl who _literally_ was in all of Andy’s dreams was _her_.

“S-Sorry, I d-didn’t mean to make it weird,” Andy lowered his head.

“It’s not weird when it’s literally a fact.” Lauren just chuckled and held his hand again, “When we had that dream when you said you just wanted to talk, you were so sad inside, I could feel it but I didn’t know why… It was right after the bitc- Rebecca’s death, right? Oh…,” Lauren shook her head in disbelief, “If I had listened to you, like you asked, maybe I’d hear the full story, and I could have convinced you that Reeva was a sadistic monster… But instead I shut you out. And right after that, you and Lorna came to help us save John, and I gave you the cold shoulder. At this point, you probably imagined that I didn’t want you back, and that pushed you deeper into the Inner Circle.”

“It’s ok,” Andy said, “After everything I did, you had more than enough reason to treat me like that. You hated me and I deserved it.”

“I was mad at you, but it wasn’t why I acted that way. I acted that way because I still loved you,” Lauren sighed, “I didn’t want to disappoint myself; you know? I didn’t want to talk to you in a dream just to wake up and see that you weren’t really there… And when you worked with us to save John, I didn’t want to get close to you, because I knew you would leave again as soon as the mission was over and then I’d just miss you even more. Distancing myself from you was easier.”

“Oh.” It was Andy’s turn to feel surprised by her answer. They just stood there holding hands in silence for a few minutes, until Andy spoke again, “I guess I have at least one last thing to apologize for. I’m sorry I left… I was so pissed... Dr. Campbell killed Sonya right in front of us... He experimented on us to make that device that created overpowered duos of Hounds… I almost got myself killed in a dumb way back in Fairburn... I felt so pathetic. I just couldn’t stop thinking that if I was half the man that my great-grandfather was, none of this would have happened.” Andy gritted his teeth.

Lauren let go of his hand, only so she could cup his cheeks in her hands, “You were not pathetic, ok? And I’m sorry. You needed my support after all that crap, but I just spent all my time with Wes… while you were all alone and buried yourself in that book about Andreas and Andrea Von Strucker... God, if I had been there for you instead…”

“You did nothing wrong. You shouldn’t have to ditch your boyfriend to babysit your brother.” Andy avoided looking her in the eye. His words were true, but he knew he would have wanted Lauren to be with him rather than with Wes. Lauren knew it too.

“The thing is, I didn’t beg Wes to stay. I barely missed him after he left. It wouldn’t have been that hard to reach out to him when he went to Augusta, but I didn’t even bother. I’m used to breaking up with boyfriends. I’m not used to losing my brother. I begged you to stay. I missed you every day. I followed every lead that could get us closer to finding you… I guess I just didn’t realize how important you were to me until you were gone,” Lauren said, still cupping his cheeks.

Andy finally looked at her eyes, and both were on the verge of tears, “I’m so-”

“No. No more apologies.” Lauren smiled softly, “I just want a promise. That you will never ever leave me again.”

“I promise,” Andy said.

Lauren closed her eyes and leaned towards him until their foreheads touched and the tip of her nose pressed up against his. Neither one of the two dared to move or say anything. They remained like that and lost track of time until the sound of the door creaking snapped them back into reality and they pulled away from each other immediately.

“Hey, kids.” Reed said, “We need you down there to discuss our plans against the Inner Circle. Sorry. After this is over, we all will have a lot of time to talk and catch up,” he smiled at them.

_The end._

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone is interested in joining our discord server to talk about Lauren/Andy and the Gifted in general, here is an invite https://discord.gg/HzmFM9B


End file.
